


Restart

by GingerItt



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-09
Updated: 2012-12-09
Packaged: 2017-11-20 18:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/588267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerItt/pseuds/GingerItt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been almost a year since Kurt and Blaine broke up. Blaine and Tina are roommates in New York, living close to Rachel and Kurt. Even though they said they would be friends, Kurt barely talks to Blaine anymore. Blaine makes the decision to move on with his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“These things take time,” Tina reminded Blaine. He nodded silently and continued restocking the bags of coffee beans on the shelf. “He’ll come around, he just needs time.”

The coffee shop they both worked in was completely empty but for Bob, the homeless man that came in every afternoon for a small tea, and a pair of college students studying by the windows. They had recently begun to give Bob a large tea and a muffin, using their meager tips to cover the difference. 

“Tina, he won’t even talk to me. We have a class together, an actual class, and he ignores me. I get that he has a boyfriend now but we were supposed to try to be friends.” Blaine broke down the empty cardboard box and tossed it into the back room.

Tina hit the button the coffee grinder and the din covered what ever well-meaning but pointless advice she was giving. Blaine knew that Kurt was a lost cause.

Blaine and Tina had moved to New York in June with brand new high school diplomas and college acceptance letters in hand. Tina would be attending NYU and Blaine had somehow impressed Carmen Thibodeaux enough to get into NYADA. They found a tiny apartment in Bushwick, not far from Kurt and Rachel’s and applied for part time jobs at every coffee shop in the neighborhood. Summer had been difficult with no air conditioning in their apartment and Kurt avoiding Blaine like the plague.

It was now almost October and they had settled into a comfortable rhythm of school and work. They had tried to start weekly dinners with Kurt and Rachel but Kurt always had some reason not to come. Then Rachel let the news slip one night over Tina’s famous pasta with peppers. 

Kurt had a boyfriend. 

His name was Adam.

He was twenty-four.

He was blond.

He was British.

He was in a band.

Kurt had moved on.

Blaine said nothing else for the rest of the meal.

Kurt had told him about Adam months ago but he had said that their few dates were awkward and there was no spark between them. He’d lied.

He wanted to be angry. He really did. But Kurt owed him nothing. It wasn’t any of his business who Kurt was dating so he made a point of trying to date as well.

There was the lanky guy in his dance class with big green eyes and red hair named Parker who he went out with once. Parker was graceful and polite in class so when he suggested a gay club in Alphabet City, Blaine was eager to have a fun night dancing with him. That is not what happened. Parker spent the entire night groping him and sneaking sips from a flask. When he excused himself to go to the bathroom, Blaine left without a second though and high-tailed it back to Bushwick. Parker didn’t even bother to ask him what happened and he really didn’t want to talk to him again. He overheard him telling one of their other classmates that he went to that club for anonymous hook ups. Blaine regretted nothing.

Then Tina introduced him to her friend Lawrence from NYU and Blaine was instantly smitten. Lawrence was a kind, sensitive artist with long dreadlocks and gorgeous dark skin. At only twenty-three, he was already a graduate student studying sculpture. Even though there was only a four year age gap, Lawrence seemed much more worldly and experienced than either of them would have expected. He invited both of them to a gallery opening and it became clear after about twenty minutes that his goal was to get them both into bed. They silently agreed to never speak of the Lawrence fiasco again.

“--But I know that he still loves you, Blaine. I can feel it in my bones.” Blaine snapped out of his daydreaming as the grinder shut itself off.

“Tina. Let’s just drop it, okay?” He leaned against the counter. “Maybe I just need to stop dating for a while. And to stop thinking that Kurt will magically wake up and decide to be with me again.”

The bell over the door jingled and Tina plastered a big smile on her face. 

“Hey, Kurt!” she said cheerfully. Blaine stood up straight, crossing his arms over the red apron he wore over his clothes.

“Hey, Tina!” Kurt replied. He glanced towards Blaine and paused before saying, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Blaine responded, praying that Kurt hadn’t what he had said. “How are you?”

“Good. I’m good.” They all stood in awkward silence. Tina was suddenly fascinated by her manicure. “Well, um. I just came in for some coffee.”

“Right. Right!” Tina bustled over to the register. “What can I get you?”

“A non-fat medium mocha and an large tea. Earl Grey, if you have it.” Tina rang him up as Blaine started the espresso machine for the mocha. He reached for a large cup for the tea when it struck him. The tea. Earl Grey. It was for Adam.

“Tina, I’ll be right back. Can you finish these up?” A lump was forming in his throat and he couldn’t look at either of them as tears formed in his eyes.

“Um, yeah, sure. Everything okay?” she asked, watching him as Kurt signed his receipt.

Blaine nodded, moving towards the back room as quickly as he could. “Yeah, there’s just-- my contact feels weird,” he lied.

He tripped over the box he had tossed back there earlier and scrambled to his feet, rushing to the employee bathroom. He locked the door behind him, put the lid down on the toilet and sat with his head in his hands, letting the tears come. Blaine hadn’t cried over Kurt in months. He hadn’t let himself. Somehow, making a drink for Adam made it that much more real. Kurt was gone. Well, not gone. But he wasn’t his Kurt anymore. Any hope he had for Kurt coming back to him vanished as he had reached for that damn cup.

Blaine stood up and considered his reflection in the mirror. His face was puffy, eyes blood shut and his lips were chapped. He had definitely looked better. He turned the tap on, splashing water some on his face. Groping the dispenser for paper towels to dry his face, he resolved to move on. If Kurt could, so could he.


	2. Chapter 2

“Blaine? Blaine, are you okay?” Tina rapped on the door. Blaine tossed the paper towels in the trash and yanked the door open.

“I’m fine, Tina,” he spat as he brushed past her. “Is he gone?” He peered through the little window in the door that led to the front of the shop. Bob was still there but the two college kids were gone.

Tina pushed the door open and strode past him. “Yes. He’s gone. But he invited us over tonight. He wants us there at eight.”

Blaine grabbed the basket of sugar and sugar substitute packets to refill the canisters at the drip stand. “Why?”

Tina shrugged and scooped coffee grounds into a filter and hoisted up the dispenser to be filled. “I don’t know. But he invited us so we’re going.”

“I can’t.”

“Blaine, it’s going to be okay.”

“No, it’s not, Tina.” Blaine whirled around to face her. “He has a boyfriend. He was moved on and he couldn’t even be bothered to tell me. Nothing is okay about this. I was just stupid enough to think that all he needed was time to forgive me and that we’d work it out. But in reality, he needed time to forgive me and find someone who won’t break his heart.” He glanced at his watch and untied his apron, pulling it over his head. “My shift is over. I’ll see you at home.”

He threw his apron over his shoulder and left the shop before Tina could say anything. The short walk to their apartment seemed to take forever. Blaine dragged his feet up the four flights of stairs and threw himself on the couch they had found in the alleyway a week after they moved in. He should try to get some homework done. But he really just wanted to throw a pity party for himself.

It hadn’t even been worth it. Cheating. Making out with Eli had been boring and awkward. He used too much tongue when he kissed and his fingernails had been much too long for Blaine’s taste. And it didn’t even mean anything to him. That was the worst part. Eli was like a like aggressive version of Sebastian but Sebastian at least seemed to like Blaine as a person. Eli just looked at him like a pair of lips to kiss and a cock to suck. 

He remembered the first time he and Kurt had made out. They had been in Kurt’s bedroom back in Lima and Finn was just downstairs with Quinn, making muffins or something. Kurt had put on one of his old Judy Garland records he’d bought on eBay and they were laying beside each other on his bed. Kurt was nestled under his arm, his head on Blaine’s chest, eyes closed and losing himself in the music. Every now and then he’d sing along to a part his particularly liked. As one song ended, Blaine had tilted Kurt’s chin up to give him what was supposed to be a light kiss that quickly progressed to shirts being tugged over their heads and a small hickey on Blaine’s chest.

Back in the present, Blaine groaned, burying his face in a pillow. Each memory of Kurt gave him pangs in his chest. He didn’t want to go that night but he knew that Tina would make him. He forced himself to get up and change out of his work clothes. Pulled out a pair of loose fitting seersucker pants from his dresser and pulled them on. As soon as he pulled the zipper up, he reconsidered the choice. He had worn those pants the night the had sex for the first time. 

He sat on the edge of his bed, staring out the window as that night replayed in his mind. How Kurt had felt against him, how his voice sounded, his breath on his skin. The whispered ‘I love yous’. The promises both had made. And he’d lost it all for nothing.

“Enough.” Blaine stood up and pulled his shirt over his head and tugged on an old white henley that he knew Kurt hated. He undid the buttons at the top of the shirt, not really carrying if he was underdressed for the evening. 

He heard Tina come in and Blaine stood up to meet her in the living area. She saw that he had changed and smiled broadly at him.

“So you’re going?” she asked, kicking off her flats.

“I’m going,” he replied. 

Tina screeched in excitement and ran to her room changing in record time. She grabbed Blaine’s hand and pulled him to the door. “Let’s go!”

When they arrived at Kurt and Rachel’s, Brody answered the door.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” He didn’t open the door all the way but they could hear Kurt and Rachel’s voices yelling in the background.

“What’s going on?” Blaine asked. He tried to peer over Brody’s shoulder but Rachel’s penchant for large, burly men made that difficult.

“Yeah, Kurt invited us over.” Tina was confused too. 

Brody blushed bright red. “They’re just having a little disagreement right now.”

“I can’t believe you broke up with Adam, Kurt!” Rachel screeched. “He was so good for you!”

Blaine and Tina stared at Brody who nodded in confirmation.

They heard Kurt sigh in exasperation. “But he’s not Blaine,” he said as if it were painfully obvious.”

“But Blaine is just like Finn, all he ever did was hurt you!” Rachel continued to babble and suddenly Kurt’s voice rang out over hers.

“Shut up, Rachel! Believe it or not, my relationship with Blaine is nothing like yours with Finn.” Kurt was actually shouting at Rachel. Brody’s eyes widened and he stepped away from the door, letting Tina slip in. Blaine couldn’t move from his spot but he saw Kurt standing in the kitchen with his back to him. “And you are in no place to tell me what to do. We did not spend three years trying to convince ourselves and everyone around us that we were supposed to be together because we didn’t have to. I knew the second I saw him.” Tina sat silently on the couch, a small smile on her lips. Blaine remained frozen in the hall. “He turned around and looked at me and it was like meeting a part of me that I didn’t know was missing.”

“Kurt, I’m not trying to say that you don’t love him anymore but I just don’t want you to get hurt again,” Rachel said calmly.

Kurt’s voice softened as he sighed. “I know that you think you are looking out for me but just stop trying to protect me and listen. I’ve only ever told Blaine this, but in middle school, I found my mom’s college journal and read it.” That familiar lump was forming in Blaine’s throat as Kurt spoke. “She and my dad broke up for a bit and she wrote that you know you’ve found the person you’re supposed to be with when you live your entire day just to go to sleep beside them. To feel them beside you, to need them beside you. No matter if you’re hurt or angry. And you don’t have to forgive them and they don’t have to forgive you. You just... Need them beside you because of or in spite of what they’ve done. When they’re not there, you ache for them.” 

Blaine slowly made his way inside the apartment as Kurt continued to speak. “And... That night, when he told me what did, do you know what I was thinking? That I still wanted him in that bed with me and how awful it was that one of the few times we got to lay beside each other was spent feeling hurt and betrayed.” He inched his way towards the kitchen where Kurt and Rachel stood. “I ache for him, Rachel. I yearn for him. So can you honestly tell me that you go to sleep aching for Finn the way I ache for Blaine? Because I don’t think you do. I don’t think you ever did.”

Rachel looked over Kurt’s shoulder, tears in her eyes. She swallowed back her tears and looked in Blaine’s eyes. “No. You’re right, I don’t. But I think there’s someone who knows exactly how you feel. Turn around,” Rachel said quietly.

“What?” Kurt asked, clearly frustrated with her.

“Turn around,” Blaine said, his voice breaking.

Kurt’s spine straightened as Blaine spoke. He slowly turned to face him. “Blaine.”

“Kurt.”

Blaine rushed forward, wrapping one arm around Kurt’s waist, the other to his shoulders and kissed him. It had been a year since they had kissed but the second their lips touched, it was like the whole thing had been some kind of horrible nightmare. Kurt fingers gripped Blaine’s scalp and, for a moment, Blaine thought he might push him away. Instead, Kurt held him tightly and sucked on his bottom lip. Around them they could hear Tina and Rachel squealing excitedly but honestly, Blaine couldn’t care less about their reunion being witnessed by their friends. They finally broke apart and stared at each other for a moment.

“Hi,” Kurt said, his thumb wiping a tear from Blaine’s cheek.

“Hi,” Blaine whispered. “I’ve missed you so much.”


End file.
